Does Goal Setting Leave You Feeling Like a “Failure?” Try This…

Do you find goal setting can leave you feeling like you “failed” if you didn’t make it happen?  Try this - it will blow your mind! 

As the New Year approaches I wanted to chat to you about the concept of “GOALS”.

So often we declare the coming year will be our “Best Year Ever!” or “My Healthiest Year Yet!” We think about all of the new habits we’re going to create to make these goals a reality. 

But then (and tell me if this feels familiar?) we get a few weeks or months into the year and life has already become busy and competing priorities have distracted us from our best laid plans! The goals we’d set around self care are far from being met and we’re left either feeling disheartened or like we’re a failure. 

One of my teachings I love to share is GOALS versus INTENTION. 

Why? Because about 15 years ago I found myself feeling frustrated and overwhelmed all the time. I started to recognise that even in day-to-day living, I was setting goals that were often left unachieved, leaving me feeling defeated and as those “failed goals” kept piling up, so did the overwhelm! It was a vicious cycle. 

I thought to myself: “Okay, I can’t change the demands in my life so how can I tackle the demands differently? How do I shift this overwhelm to help me live a calmer, more content life?” 

The answer? Swapping my goals for intentions. - It changed my world!

When we live our days with intentions, we give ourselves freedom. 

When we set a “GOAL”, we have a restrictive mindset that creates a rigid definition of success or failure, right or wrong. We have a concrete idea of what the outcome needs to be and if we don’t hit it — FAILURE. This is dangerous territory and can undermine our self worth and motivation. Then we might give up altogether.

When we create an INTENTION, we have an aim, direction  or a purpose as we move through our day, but we give ourselves breathing room to adapt to the needs and wants of daily life. We also give ourselves space to respond to our own energy, rather than pushing ourselves beyond our natural flow which leads to exhaustion. 

When I began setting intentions for the day, rather than goals, my whole world changed. I became a better Mum to my four children, I became a better teacher, I became a better person in the many roles I shared. But most of all I began to enjoy life so much more. 

Everyday became an adventure rather than a list of to do’s that I must get done! No longer was I looking for a finish line where I could finally give myself permission to rest. 

I dropped the frustration and instead began to laugh at myself for how rigid my mind had my thinking! The other thing it did was help empower me to acknowledge I didn’t need to wear “busy” like a badge of honour! I had a choice and I knew how to move through my day from a place that empowered me, rather than drowning me in overwhelm.

You can still have the same intentions to create your “Best Year Ever!” or “My Healthiest Year Yet!” — or any new habits you’d like to embrace — but what you enable is more achievable accountability, more organic flow and better management of your energy. 

Don’t get me wrong, you must still work with it, but that’s the difference! You’re working with it, staying focused and finding creative ways to make that intention and your life comfortably coexist!

Here’s some examples to illustrate the difference between GOALS and INTENTIONS and how you can be creative to achieve your intended outcomes. 

• You’re wanting better health. Perhaps you’re thinking you want to lose a certain amount of weight or exercise more each week. 

  • Intention will have you moving your body more than you are now and being more conscious of how you fuel your body. It will help you acknowledge that to change your ways, any change in your daily habits will have you heading in the right direction. That could be as simple as buying more fruit instead of snacks in your weekly groceries, parking further away from work so you walk a little longer each day, or taking the family on a weekend bike ride. 

  • A goal would have you trying to adhere to a new diet and attending dedicated exercise classes on set days of the week, for example. 

While the goal enables the harsh “inner critic”, the intention enables you to become your own cheerleader!

Let me know how you go via email.

Give me some feedback how or has this has worked for you?

So my wish for you is this: Let 2021 be the year of leaving goals behind and 2022 be the year of treating yourself better, being kinder to yourself, accepting who you are and making positive intentions to create a healthier, happier you.

I’d like to take this opportunity to truly thank all of you who have blessed my life in 2021. It certainly has been a year that has seen many challenges and growth for all. We have had to adapt and truly embrace living in the moment while navigating constant change.

Shine Bright and Brilliant and may 2022 be your best year ever!  May it begin with you moving into 2022 with a sense of healing and creating, a sense of looking at things a little differently, including whether to set goals or intentions.

Take care,

Alli